I called you today, left a message, probably never have an answer. I just want you to see that I care. You won't acknowledge the time we spent together but you could at least pretend I've been around? Talk to someone about me.
My social life would be hear says, rumors of gratitude I could have shown to a random stranger. An empty gesture of self contempt.
I'd pay the double to get a refill of my ego but the engine is broken and I'm a cheap bastard, some say.
What are you trying to hide from me. I saw a shadow move. I swear it could be mine.
Couldn't tell what or who it was. All I know is it's never coming back.
Paint it, shape it again and throw it away as a distant memory.
It hurts to look at people's face and recognise a relative.
Someone I could talk to.
Instead you nodded you heard and pretended to understand.
You understand, yes. You understand all so well.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Write my name and forget it
Whose voice was it?
Did I really say this out loud?
Who was really holding the knife?
Can't remember what happened
Just forget
Forget who you are
The murderer will never be known and there won't be witness either
Carve the words on your flesh
Or maybe on her, his, whatever...
If it goes deep enough, you won't be able to tell who it was
Don't want to remember
Can't open. Don't want to open my eyes
Carve, just carve
He is carving
I am carving
We are carving
Nobody is doing anything
No eyes to see and no mouth to tell
Whereas there ever was or wasn't doesn't have any importance
I want to get away from this place I call myself
Murdering myself through the hands of another by killing anybody as long as it doesn't matter.
I don't, nobody does.
Did I really say this out loud?
Who was really holding the knife?
Can't remember what happened
Just forget
Forget who you are
The murderer will never be known and there won't be witness either
Carve the words on your flesh
Or maybe on her, his, whatever...
If it goes deep enough, you won't be able to tell who it was
Don't want to remember
Can't open. Don't want to open my eyes
Carve, just carve
He is carving
I am carving
We are carving
Nobody is doing anything
No eyes to see and no mouth to tell
Whereas there ever was or wasn't doesn't have any importance
I want to get away from this place I call myself
Murdering myself through the hands of another by killing anybody as long as it doesn't matter.
I don't, nobody does.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Ton dernier adieu
Qu'est il devenu ton rêve? Brisé, asphyxié, atrophié, replié sur lui-même dans un dernier geste pour se protéger de la pression d'un oreiller collé sur ton visage. Tu l'encourages a appuyer, les cris étouffé par la pression de ses bras que tu as poussé à bout en riant de tout ces rêves qu'il t'avait confié. Maigre plaisir de faire souffrir en quelque gestes et de voir s'écrouler des minutes d'espoirs que tu t'appropriais pour confirmer ta certitude d'être autre chose que ces petits être qui ressortaient ensuite de ton bureau pour se jeter sur des rails, ou simplement frapper quelqu'un d'autre et causer encore un peu plus de dommage. L'effet papillon. Tu bats des ailes, tu causes le chaos et tu souris d'étendre ainsi les mandibules de ton influence, au delà de cette petite pièce où l'on t'a enfermé, pour étouffer le peu de puissance que tu aurais pu grappiller ailleurs en grignotant un à un les désirs et les envies des autres. Rigole donc de cette blague que tu n'as pas compris. Un peu de mascara te donnera un sourire, une réponse te donnera une conversation. Un point d'entrée sur la personne. Tu manipules et puis on finit par te projeter vers d'autres, comme un vieux morceau de papier collant dont on souhaite se débarrasser. Arrivé en fin de route, tu aurais pu continuer encore plus loin et voir ce que demain aurait pu t'offrir mais tu as choisit de mettre un terme à ton avenir en enlevant toute possibilité d'agir sur ta propre manière de mourir. Tu lui as juste sourit suffisamment longtemps pour qu'il te suive. Puis, tu as retiré le sol de ses pieds et précipité sa chute vers ton gosier jusqu'à ce qu'il finisse par confondre sa propre voix avec la tienne lors ce que tu as lui a soufflé ce dernier mot.
L'oreiller.
Il a alors saisit l'ustensile et l'a posé sur ton visage pour que tu ressentes un peu de chaleur, un peu de douceur. Juste de quoi te faire partir lentement en songeant à quel point l'on te regrettera demain. La mort enlève toute culpabilité et tu seras alors immaculé dans l'éternité.
L'oreiller.
Il a alors saisit l'ustensile et l'a posé sur ton visage pour que tu ressentes un peu de chaleur, un peu de douceur. Juste de quoi te faire partir lentement en songeant à quel point l'on te regrettera demain. La mort enlève toute culpabilité et tu seras alors immaculé dans l'éternité.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
From the road (nouvelle version)
Reach down within and look at what you bring back.
What did I forget?
What did I make up to cover my own history?
Take a stand against the curse Ive alway been
Versus the cure I want to be
Nobody knows when it's my day
Or my time to shine
Without another to call mine
There is nobody on my side
Not a soul to call mine
Or a mouth to help pass the time
Everybody forgot my existence, so I maybe I will too
When I realised what disease I had become (From the road)
I took a look at myself in the mirror (From the road)
And I was pleased to realise
Where once stood a man (From the road)
There was now an empty seat
And nobody to blame (From the road)
From the road
It never ends
What did I forget?
What did I make up to cover my own history?
Take a stand against the curse Ive alway been
Versus the cure I want to be
Nobody knows when it's my day
Or my time to shine
Without another to call mine
There is nobody on my side
Not a soul to call mine
Or a mouth to help pass the time
Everybody forgot my existence, so I maybe I will too
When I realised what disease I had become (From the road)
I took a look at myself in the mirror (From the road)
And I was pleased to realise
Where once stood a man (From the road)
There was now an empty seat
And nobody to blame (From the road)
From the road
It never ends
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